Do you love?

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Do you love?  

 

 

As much as I know, only Erich Fromm wrote a scientific book about love. I have studied his work entirely and may say that his book “The Art of Love” presents an excellent psychological analysis of love which contributed significantly to its understanding. Fromm has influenced my work greatly. In this essay, I have not quoted him because his study of love based on psychology, cannot be useful in building love among people. He has based the creation of love on the consciousness of people, and that was never an efficient path. I wanted to define a method which would spread love among people unconditionally. Theoretically, I succeeded in it by a sociological approach based on equal human rights. The implementation of equal human rights will build love in society unavoidably. Love will create a beautiful world. This article presents how. 

 

Love 

Love is the most significant achievement a person can realize in their lives. Love is a state of mind based on the equality of people, mutual care and eagerly giving help. Love is the condition of the soul that enriches the person and therefore the world. A person who loves carries a feeling of inner peace, stability, lightness and joy of living and that is how they can be identified. In the natural society love is a spontaneous act which develops on its own. In a society alienated from its nature such as the one we live in, we do not know how to love each other enough. You dear readers most likely think that you are able to love and you are right because there is not one person who is not able to love at least a little bit. But if you think that your love is high enough, then please read this article from start to finish, and you might be assured of the contrary. 

 

Narcissism  

What people today mostly call love is actually narcissism. Narcissistic people adore their images, their character, their deeds and especially their great happiness that brings them a success in society. They enjoy their abilities, their thoughts, their beauty, their characteristics, their family, their nation, and everything that is connected to them. They value themselves more than other people, and that is what develops their narcissistic aspect of their character. Narcissism presents a person falling in self-love. In the idealization of their own personalities, narcissistic people often consider themselves very modest. For this reason, it is challenging for a man to recognize the narcissistic character in himself.  

Does narcissism contain love in itself? I would say that it does not, but the problem is in fact semantic. If one can say, "I love chocolate," where the term "love" actually means "enjoy" then one can stretch the meaning of love to narcissism but in an inferior form. Narcissism and love are separate categories as their names speak. All people possess both characteristics; however, the man who loves more is less narcissistic and vice versa. In the following pages, I will call the people who have more developed narcissistic characteristics as the narcissistic people even though they are able to love, but their abilities to love are less developed.  

If a narcissistic man exercises his wishes successfully, then he feels great love for the whole world, but this love is an illusion. When a narcissistic man is unable to achieve his intentions, then he will deflate like a balloon into depression and will hate the whole world. A narcissistic man is quite unstable, and that is how he can be recognized. A natural man loves continuously. If the world does not match the needs of the natural man, he does not hate, he is just saddened. Love creates benefits to the man who loves and to the world around him, while narcissism can hardly achieve that. Narcissism will rather create evil to the narcissistic man and to the world around him.  

Narcissistic people are very ambitious. If you actively want to become a boss or any authority; if your primary goal in life is to earn money, win a contest, or something similar, you are a pretty narcissistic person. You strongly prefer to compete, and even more so, to win! Your ego and narcissus are hungry. You have great opportunities to win, but it gives you less chance to love. You need love! Then you will not have a great need to compete. People who love base their mutual relations less on competitions and more on agreements. This example can only tell you how much you are able to love, but it cannot at all help you to love more. If you give up from ambitions or competitions that do not mean at all that you will begin to love more. The problem of knowing how to love does not depend on the wishes of the people, it is located deep in the psyche of a person, which is built throughout their entire life.   

A narcissistic man is very subjective and has a tendency to give his successes greater importance than they deserve. The narcissistic culture has overly risen up very superficial forms of value such as power, wealth, fame, beauty, strength, speed, etc. In today's society, these have become the most valuable goals. These values are objectively not so high, but the alienated society has put them on the pedestal. They are alienated, and as such cannot bring lasting benefits nor to individuals nor to society as a whole. On the contrary, those values usually carry all the opposite. These values destroy the long-term possibility of creating benefits in society.   

If a narcissistic person is very successful in his society like famous singers, actors or politicians are, then the narcissus in him can shine for a long time. Such successes may form an illusion of overcoming man’s powerlessness in nature, and therefore, the narcissistic happiness may be pretty intense, and as such, it can easily deceive a man into thinking that he is on the right track. Narcissistic happiness is not good because it is primarily based on illusions. Taking into account that the narcissistic man overestimates himself and underestimates everything that surrounds him, he often comes in contradiction with the objective reality. Life shows a narcissistic man sooner or later that his capabilities are not as significant as he wants, that he is not quite as perfect as he would like to be, that his youth and beauty have passed. New, smarter, stronger, more skilled people always appear, and they threaten the superior vision of the narcissistic man which brings severe disappointment to him. Any happiness a man exercises undeservedly by the help of illusions will come back as payment in the form of pain. Narcissistic people often try to find escapes from the extreme tension by drinking alcohol and taking drugs and thus they can be recognized.   

Narcissistic happiness alienates a man from objective reality. Such a man loses respect towards other people and reduces the chance to reach the natural advantages in the relationships with other people so that he minimizes the opportunity to love. Only love can elevate men from these kinds of problems, but narcissistic people do not know enough love to be able to balance themselves. 

Narcissistic people strive to be the strongest, the smartest, the most beautiful, the best in any sense, and hardly tolerate the competition that may threaten their vision. Therefore, narcissistic men clash with each other easily. It can be said that virtually all conflicts in society are based in the narcissistic character of a man. By their subjective vision, narcissistic people can identify threats to their alienated needs as threats to their real existence. It induces the fight between narcissistic people for the survival of their illusions. The more narcissistic people are, the more brutal their conflicts are. All the cruelty of this world comes from endangered narcissism. An injured narcissism causes a very destructive orientation of the narcissistic man. Such a person can fall into depression, which can be developed to the needs of self-destruction or create hatred that can be extended to the needs of the destruction of the world.    

Narcissism is primarily developed by the privileged statuses of people in society because those people have realized the feeling of superior power in society almost effortlessly. I wrote more about this in the article Privileges are Evil. One can generalize that the more privileged people are, the more narcissistic they are. Spoiled children, excellent students, people in positions are generally more privileged, and that most likely means, more narcissistic. But the differences are often only in nuances because every person can build an illusion of power or privileges in a world of their thoughts. Almost all people possess some narcissistic traits of character because our alienated culture teaches us to be narcissistic. The less narcissistic person is a healthier person for himself and for society as a whole. In this article, I will try to demonstrate that the more narcissistic man loves less.  

 

Love of authorities 

Higher skilled people develop knowledge which improves society, and that makes them authorities. Right authorities impact society by their own positive example and help other people when they are asked to do so. They do not impose their opinions, knowledge, or values to other people. Such people are a high rarity today.   

There are wrong authorities as well. These are the people who strive to achieve the privileged status of authority because this status gives them power over people along with considerable alienated benefits. Such power develops the narcissistic character of people. Narcissistic authorities propagate their subjective values and knowledge to the community with the primary objective of reinforcing their privileged statuses. People who do not know are helpless and are prone to give authorities greater importance than they objectively deserve and therefore they accept the subjective knowledge of authorities. Wrong authorities through the history of humankind have created a vast amount of utterly unnecessary knowledge that society has adopted. Such knowledge is alienated, false, wrongful, and therefore prevents the natural development of society. I wrote more about it in the article My Clash with Sciences

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The alienated society readily accepts the culture that favours the development of wrong authorities and diminishes the power of people. Authorities and their followers build a stable mutual relationship, which might look like love. Specifically, authorities need subordinated people because they help them to establish their status and high power. Subordinated people are very connected to the authorities because it is often more convenient for them to subordinate themselves to the authorities than to be left by themselves in the terrifying world. But the relationship between authority and follower is only an illusion of love. If we extend the meaning of love very much, then such love is at least entirely undeveloped. However, I would label it as a very perverted concept of love. The relationship based on the servility of subordinate people and the control of authority always represents some level of a sadistic-masochistic relationship, and because of it, it's very unproductive. A sadist is a person who finds pleasure in the domination of other people that on the way to achieve higher benefits can be developed to extreme brutality. A masochist finds pleasure in the subjugation to authorities until the point of complete obedience, which can be developed into enjoyment in the form of pain. A humble masochist, under the guidance of authority, may become a ruthless henchman of the authority.  

Today's society does not know how to love enough but also is not aware that all the evil that is happening in the world stems from a lack of love. Without love, society is becoming very brutal, and as such does not have a good future. Capitalism is brutal. I wrote more about this in the article The End of Capitalism. The brutal capitalist system tries to convince people that brutality is a normal condition. This is achieved by the censorship of humanistic ideas, such as for example, mine, combined with the spreading of brutal messages with the production of brutal films, for example. By watching brutal heroes in brutal movies, brutal people meet their brutal needs and thereby accept the existence of the brutal system as a normal state. Today, to see hundreds of people killed in movies is a normal thing that horrifies no one. People who can easily watch brutal movies have difficulties to love; those who enjoy watching these movies cannot love at all. In today's world, brutal films are produced the most. For who are they produced?   

Millions of people have developed their brutality by living unhappily in an alienated society. These people are potential time bombs that wait for a reason to exercise their brutal needs in real life. Such a phenomenon is impossible in a community that loves. Social scientists often accuse poverty as the primary source of evil around the world. I think that this is not the case, at least not precisely. Today, poor people have higher living standards than kings in the Middle Ages. Material values are not essential. The crucial importance is the alienation of society, unfair distribution of power in society, the privileges that follow it, narcissistic traits of character built on privileges, and the lack of love which arises from all of that. I cannot imagine today that someone in the developed world would commit murder or suicide because they were hungry, but if their narcissistic vanity is violated, that can be expected. The reason for aggression can be any endangered privilege or any unrealized ambition. The economic and moral crisis in which we are all sinking deeper and deeper can influence a large number of people to attack anybody or even the whole society irrationally. They can quickly become monstrous killers.  

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Narcissistic authorities successfully deceive people by propagating love of country or nation. No man will ignore the call of love for his homeland. People who are not satisfied with the way they live would respond to this call even more. That always creates some form of group narcissism which is manifested in the form of nationalism. Authorities who oppress people and make them dissatisfied through patriotic calls increase the power over the people. Dissatisfied people accept the patriotic invitations of authorities uncritically and become heartless weapons in their hands. Thus, the alienation of people from their own nature creates militant foundations for international conflicts and wars. Militant people do not love. People who love do not wage wars.  

Authorities achieve maximum power by the production of national enemies. A good example is al-Qaida, for which nobody can safely prove whether it exists and if it does exist I do not believe that it has a lot of members because it would otherwise show its strength by numerous terrorist actions in the Western world. By creating the fear of al-Qaida, the American authorities successfully mobilize the American people in the fight against "evil." In this conflict, the American people lose freedom, uncritically put themselves at the service of authorities, fund wars by their taxes, and lose their lives for the interests of the authorities. The authorities thus become the masters of life and death. People have become completely irrelevant figures for the achievement of "higher goals." The fear of a few terrorists started the unprovoked wars against Iraq and Afghanistan, the war against 60 million people. The war against terrorism has created the terrorism of the United States against all countries that do not want to subordinate themselves to the American power, culture, politics and economy. The group narcissism of the American citizens allowed the formation of aggressive wars, whose goal is the obedience of disobedient nations, their economies and natural resources. It is difficult for uninformed people to recognize this.    

Regardless of your unawareness, if the people who died in the terrorist attack 9/11, although you know nobody there, affect you more than everyday killings of people in Iraq and Afghanistan produced by the U.S. government, then you are pretty narcissistic and have not developed the ability to love. If you do not judge members of your nation equally with others, members of your family with others, and yourself with others, then you are most likely narcissistic and have not developed the ability to love.    

Right now I am watching the attack on Iran on CNN, which is very similar to the attacks that were made in countries of Eastern Europe. Western governments’ secret services, many NGOs and various criminals within Iran, synchronically provoke conflicts between followers of different political parties. By the time these conflicts are supposed to lead to the instability of Iran, which is supposed to make Iran easy prey for multinational corporations, aka the new world order. In these conflicts, a twenty-six-year-old woman Neda Soltani has just been murdered. The Western media unanimously claim in advance that she will become a symbol of resistance to the regime in Iran. Who might benefit from her death? Only the new world order which wants to increase tension for regime change in Iran. 

Similar killings with the same aim have previously happened in Belgrade during the NATO bombing campaign. To destabilize Yugoslavia from inside, the western agents ordered killings of the members of the government, of the opposition, and of criminal groups. In the article Has the Antichrist Come? I named the leader of the new world order. This man has managed to hijack the rights that belong to people through great deception. He decides the way people will live and even whether they will live. He rules the world while being completely invisible and thus retains the power no matter what is happening around the world. He has to learn for his own good and for the good of society, he can only have the same rights as everyone else. The system that I have proposed will clearly teach him that. He probably would not like it, but I believe once people realize what I am talking about, they will no longer allow him to seize their rights.  

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Religious people love God because they expect Him to save them from all evil and lead them to good. They do not believe that they are able to find the way alone so that they pray to God to do it for them. The awe and humbleness of religious people developed about God certainly carry elements of masochism, which is the opposite of love. The same applies to the love of Jesus, Messiah, Krishna, Buddha and other prophets of God.    

Religious people accept love as a great value because their religions preach love, but love cannot be imposed from the outside by any ideology. Making a significant effort in the field of love as religions teach is not sufficient proof of love, because a masochist can try very hard but his undeveloped consciousness will not allow him to find out what love is. Love cannot be the result of awe towards God. Love comes from inside as the product of natural ways of living or is not coming at all. So how can love be recognized with a certainty? Love is giving, and if the act of giving brings joy, then one is able to love. If one finds the act of giving as a duty, then this love is undeveloped and sooner or later one will get tired, give up and disappear.   

I think that one does not need to cultivate awe for God but respect, which can allow a man to rely on his own power in solving his own problems. Religious people negate self-consciousness as the need and suppress it in some form of humbleness towards the world around them. The self-awareness of atheists smoothly goes into more negative extremes and becomes "overdeveloped consciousness" because it can quickly turn into a narcissistic illusion of power over the world that surrounds them. A productive person is aware that he is equal with other people and searches for solutions to his and society’s problems by himself. That is how he gets to know love. If I passively waited for the Messiah to save me from evil I would probably not meet Him as no other person has ever met Him, and I would not be able to create a path to a sound and sane society.   

I relied on myself in solving problems. I have managed to define a bright future of humanity by recognizing the significance of equal human rights. I have proposed a new social system which gives full power to people and not authorities. I have actually defined how to make Paradise on Earth. This is precisely what Jesus Christ is supposed to do when He comes back to Earth. That is why I applied for the work position of Jesus Christ in the article Am I Jesus Christ? I did it to attract greater attention to my work. However, religious people do not accept my philosophy because they do not believe that I could be the Messiah, although they have no idea how the Messiah should look like.  

 

Falling in love  

Probably the first association that people have to the word love is falling in love. Falling in love is the most famous expression of love today and perhaps the most described and sung term of all time. People often mystify falling in love by magical romantic feelings that rise under no control. I would say that the main characteristic of people who fall in love is fear and hope. Juvenile uncertainty and optimism towards life bring a very high possibility of falling in love.    

Young people usually think that for falling in love they just need to find an appropriate person and magically romantic love will happen. First I would like to emphasize that there is nothing magic in the act of falling in love. It is actually entirely commercial behaviour that gives an illusion of magical performance. Every person knows how much their attractiveness is worth in the alienated market of values because everyday life teaches us that. An appropriate person for love, in reality, is a product of in-depth preparation, calculation and random events. In fact, there is almost nothing wrong in it, because a person should choose a partner who suits him more. Rational behaviour in the choosing of partners is more than welcome.  But the people who quickly fall in love are actually very narcissistic, and that means not rational. Narcissistic people are not objective so that they are quite foolish and do not recognize correct values in the selection of partners.    

When an appropriate person for falling in love appears in the sight of a narcissistic person, a high energy of happiness is released that attracts, and if it finds an appropriate response from the other side, a miracle of "love" appears which indulges, and all the brakes release and all the doubts about the acceptability of the partner disappear. The person then feels "the chemistry" and the whole world becomes beautiful. This miracle situation described in countless songs is just a sweet illusion that occurs as the result of the liberation of considerable uncertainty. There is almost no love here. The person who is confident in himself can hardly fall in love, but he is capable to love.   

If we name falling in love as love, it would be a very undeveloped form of love. Falling in love is a product of subjective experience. The success of falling in love is often measured by the quantity of attracted attention that the people who fell in love realize in society. Narcissistic people do not try to get to know the beloved person deeper, because such people often do not even know what that means. Falling in love is very superficial, and a person who falls in love often quickly satiates with the loved one. If the emotions towards the loved person ends, it was never love, because love lasts. Love is taught practically the whole life. Getting to know love is in fact active learning in practice that brings pleasure. The person who loves does not stop getting to know his or her partner. By getting to know more of their partner a person learns how to improve the life of his partner. That fills him with the joy of love. 

People who fall in love often quickly see that their subjective knowledge about their loved ones, as a rule, has almost nothing in common with the character of the loved ones. Disappointment that comes results in the termination of the connection quickly. If a loving pair fell in love with falling in love, if the picture which they make together is precarious to them, then the agony of their love often occurs. The person falling in love with a considerable degree of narcissism often tries to change the loved person and make him or her closer to their own vision which is practically impossible to achieve. Suffering then starts and leads to the development of a very passionate relationship that is entirely opposite to love. Such couples do not leave each other because their perverted pleasure of love keeps them together. Such connections are often followed by hate, and it proves that the relationship was never love. It was just narcissism. Love does not end, but if it does happen, however, it brings sadness only.  

Narcissism is selfish, egocentric, possessive, greedy, jealous and love is not any of that. Jealousy emerges from injured narcissism and love is not jealous. Falling in love can grow to love if partners are not very narcissistic and if they have enough common interest. However, this rarely happens also because the culture of love in today's society is very undeveloped so that people do not know how to love. Expecting happiness in a marriage that has emerged from a consequence of falling in love is the same as expecting luck in the lottery. We live in such times where people come to rely more on luck than on their brains. That's why there are so many divorces. There would be even more divorces if there were no fear of change or fear of endangering the narcissistic image of marital harmony that couples present to society. Married couples who hardly regard their partners during the day, who are not happy by the encounter, couples whose ambitions at work are more important than their life partner, certainly do not love each other and this is a great pity for both.  

Nothing destroys marriages like violated narcissism among partners. If the marriage ends in dispute in court then indeed it was not love, it was narcissism. If people leave their spouses because they fell in love with another person, then the short-term illusion has most likely forced them to make a great stupidity, because it causes long-term damage to themselves and the people around them. Namely, the new relationship could hardly be better than the previous one because if a person knows how to love, he or she would not have to seek a new partner and would not have divorced the previous one. Divorce mostly points to an alienated and spiritually poor life of such people.  

Many people cannot wait to fall in love. If they knew better, they would avoid the state of falling in love. Falling in love is sweet, but it damages the person who falls in love because the happiness that uncontrollably rises makes it difficult for him or her to objectively see the situation in which he or she is in. People who are objective hardly fall in love but are more prone to stay in love. Love is stable and grows over time. Love is the consequence of man's natural productive orientation. Today, people are generally alienated from this orientation and therefore do not love. The system that I’ve proposed will build natural relationships in a society based on equal human rights. It will develop objectivity which will teach people how to love, and they will love. 

 

Love of children 

Love develops from childhood. Love is learned the same way children learn how to walk or talk. Parents who love give love to children and teach children through their behaviour what love is. If parents do not know what love is, then they cannot teach kids to love. Today's society is alienated from its own nature and therefore do not know love enough. Lack of love is most often manifested by inadequate care of parents for their children.  

In the capitalist system, most people must work all day to cover living needs, so they do not have time to provide children with love to the extent they feel. Capitalism imposes alienated needs which reduces the free time of people and diminish the ability of parents to raise their children. Capitalism deliberately disintegrates families to get more dependent workers and consumers. This is a political problem of the capitalist society and must be solved by political measures. Schools take over the upbringing of children. The school program is alienated from the nature of children because it is determined by authorities so that children often do not love it. The teachers take over the role of parents. Normally, it’s much harder for teachers to find love for children than parents can because they usually work with children just to earn money for a living. Children grow up without enough love.  

Furthermore, narcissistic parents are often occupied with their own ambitions so that they do not have enough time for their children. It is a great mistake to love your job more than your own children. Do you spend more time on your career and earning money than on your own children? You are then pretty much narcissistic and do not have the developed ability to love. Narcissistic people often hide their own ambitions behind the sacrifice for the benefit of their families. But this is nonsense because it is about the ridiculous overestimation of the value of ambition and underestimation of children. A successful career and money cannot bring as much benefit as the neglect of the development of children bring disadvantages to all. Children who do not receive enough care and love become emotional invalids who do not know how to love and become long-term problems for themselves, for their parents and for society. It is not impossible that the children learn how to love later in their lives, but in an alienated society in which we live today, it very rarely happens.  

Instead of love, parents today exercise far more pressure on children to obey their will in the name of "higher interests." Parents who have not developed the love in them cannot objectively see the needs of their children. Parents, by their pressuring, actually alienate children from their own nature, and of course, reduce their chance to get to know love. When children oppose the will of adults, they can easily be right because they are closer to their own nature and therefore the resistance of young people should be respected.  

The lack of love makes children feel powerless in today's society. They are searching to find exits from their powerlessness, and apparently, they see them in the illusions of television, films and computer games. All of these media in the first place represent animal instincts of a society alienated from its nature and profit interests of the owners of media, and as such, they are opposed to the natural needs of the community. For children who do not receive enough care and love, their role models become fierce heroes in movies, and they become the heroes in brutal computer games.  

Children in computer games usually kill thousands of "enemies" daily. With such "success," they compensate the powerlessness in the society in which they live and build an illusion of their power. The illusion of power compensates the spiritual poverty in which they live and brings tremendous alienated satisfaction. And when parents ban children from spending too much time before computers, while not providing almost anything except the requirements and obligations, the children perceive it as a violation of their privileges.  

A long time ago, parents spent a lot of time with their children and gave love. In those times, the father was the highest authority to his child. Today, children almost do not see their parents all day, and the father is not the biggest, the strongest or smartest role model but trouble. In Arizona, USA, an eight-year-old boy removed such problem with a gun, just like his heroes do every day in films, or he does in computer games. He took a gun and killed his father and his friend. Somewhat before that, in the same state, a 12-year-old boy argued about chores with his mother after which he took a pistol and killed her.  

Complete lack of love for children can cause killings anywhere. In Columbine High School in Colorado, USA, two boys organized together and killed 13 classmates and wounded 21. Someone at school probably made fun of these boys who acquired the illusion of power through brutal computer games, and this became unbearable humiliation to them. This hurt their narcissism and made them question why they had practiced their shooting abilities if they had never tried them. They would show their "skills" and let everyone see who they harm. Then they transfer their games into reality and become murderers. Those were children who have not grown up in financial poverty but in the absence of love. One should not be very smart to assume what kind of future the generations that are grown without love should expect.  

If parents do not fulfill their parental duties in the upbringing of children, then it is most likely too late for the productive development of children. Then only psychiatrists or oppressive state apparatus can somewhat help. Now you are probably wondering where the boundary in upbringing that divides responsible and irresponsible parents towards the future of their children is? This border is defined by the knowledge that is the fruit of equal human rights. This is a state where parents will learn how to love and where children will be loved. Then the children will return the love. I've defined a system that will achieve such a society. This system will shorten the working hours of parents so that they will be able to spend more time with their children. The next condition for the healthy upbringing of children is for parents to find love in themselves, because only then will they be able to behave appropriately with children. The system that I’ve proposed will enable it. People will live real lives without illusions, they will be satisfied with their lives, and will be able to love. This system will completely change people.  

In such a world, people will love and will not be interested in watching cruel movies and will not have models for evil behaviour. Loved children will not have the needs to play brutal computer games. I believe that in the system that I have proposed weapons will be destroyed entirely. The people will decide it. The system I’ve suggested is the final exit from the brutal world today.   

 

Homosexual love  

The homosexual relationship is not a natural connection. Homosexuals most likely build their unnatural orientation on narcissism that can be developed in a manner that requests a close emotional bond between the members of the same sex. The love between the members of the same sex is not a problem. The problem is the sexual relationship between members of the same sex.  

Everyone who thinks about the homosexual relationship for a long time indeed develops the desire to investigate sex with the same sex members. Given that the homosexual orientation was until recently prohibited or very shameful, homosexuals have hidden their sexual desire. Because of that, I think homosexuals were unhappy people. The enormous pressure of forbidden desires and long-term suffering resulting from the inability to achieve their homosexual relations established the homosexual orientation of such people. After that, the first homosexual experience brings incredible happiness and strengthens the homosexual orientation of such a man. I am convinced that if homosexuality were not forbidden, that homosexuals would be less intensely homosexually oriented. This claim may be confirmed by any forbidden love between a man and a woman. If their relationship is undesirable or prohibited by their families for any reason, such relationship raises the passion. Restricting love is counterproductive. The same applies to homosexuals.  

I do not believe that the sexual act is crucial for homosexuals because the sexual act in heterosexual relationships is not crucial either. Far more important is love. This opens the possibility that homosexuals in a healthy, natural environment without any kind of pressure may become interested in the heterosexual relationship. The problem begins, and the solution lies in mind.  

Members of the same sex who live together should have all the equal rights as married people except the right to name their relationship as “marriage” because it is not natural. Language should be rich enough to distinguish between natural and unnatural sexual relations. Homosexuals oppose it very emotionally, because they really suffered by hiding their sexual orientation, and it is essential to them that their homosexual relationship is accepted by society. It would be better for them to take the fact that their relationship is unnatural because it would increase the possibility of returning to a natural state. A natural state can achieve a stronger and more lasting joy of life.  

Freedom of choice of orientation should be a cornerstone of every society. Let the freedom of choice show people what is best for them alone. What is best for free people is best for the community as well. I think that homosexuality is undeveloped love just as falling in love. Developed love is not even necessarily sexual. When people learn to love, they will return to their nature, and that will significantly reduce or maybe even end homosexuality.  I wrote more about it in the article Homosexuality.

I think that all people will find that marriage between a man and a woman is the best solution. They will find a person who objectively suits them best for marriage. They would love such a person very much, but yes, they would love the whole world as well. Love is not exclusive. Only a narcissistic man can love only one person and be utterly indifferent to other people all over the world. The person who loves, loves the whole world.  

 

Love needs freedom and equal rights of people  

People who do not have the freedom to live in accordance with their own nature, as well as people who always need someone to lead them through life, can hardly love. If you obey your teacher, boss, or president because they possess oppressive apparatus that makes you afraid of them therefore you cannot love them. If you are a big fan of any authority or idol; if you admire your great president, a singer or football player, if you study your idols more than you try to understand yourself, that is idolatry and not love. Idolatry is a consequence of underdeveloped personality that depends on authorities.    

An alienated society does not permit the development of people because authorities base their power and profit on the powerlessness of people. Today, the most severe world media is more engaged with the development of idolatry, then with an objective analysis of the situation in the world. In fact, public media rarely deals seriously and honestly with analyzing the situation in the world and because of it, we live in the dark. The result of it is the glorifying of inequality among people. It does not matter if you follow and support authorities because you are afraid of them or adore them as idols; you carry in yourself elements of masochism and a reduced ability to love. A man who loves has equal respect for all people and thus can be recognized.   

There is a fine line between the two groups of evil, between supremacy and powerlessness, between masochism and sadism, between inferiority and superiority, between obedience and narcissistic authoritarianism. People have a hard time staying on this line because they slip left or right very quickly. If people realize some success in society, they can easily slide to superior narcissism, and any failure forces them to move into inferior obedience. This thin line between two evils is called objectivity and equality between self-conscious people, and it presents the only possible healthy orientation of society. All my effort in creating a better society can be quickly clarified by the wish to convince people that it is the best choice for everyone to be on this good line. When I succeed in it, the line will become so wide that people will not be able to fall from it anymore. Then society will no longer have social problems. It will become capable of loving.

All the ways of improving society must be based on liberating people from the influences of wrong authorities and alienated values that these authorities have imposed throughout history. This is the so-called process of disalienation. Freedom of reassessing the rules which authorities have imposed to societies for centuries will liberate the people of alienation. Through their own practices, free people will find out what real values are and they will be retained, and in contrast, those which are not will be eliminated. In that manner, people will become self-confident members of society. To achieve that goal we practically need to demystify virtually all authorities around the world. How? In the first place by giving equal rights  to all of the people at all levels of social relations. People must accept the thesis that the nature of society has a foundation based on freedom and equality of the people.  

But wait a moment, haven’t we people today already had equal rights after the development and acceptance of equal human, civil, legal, constitutional, and other equal rights all over the world? Of course, we have not! It is only formal equality and propaganda of the wrong authorities. The president of your country may send you to war, and you cannot do it to him. Your boss may abuse or fire you, and you cannot do it to him. Your teacher may force you to accept knowledge, and you cannot do it to him. Where are the equal rights there? Now you probably think that is entirely normal because you have been living in such a society from ever. I claim that this is not normal!   

 ***

The system I have proposed offers each man full independence, freedom of expression and action under the condition that such freedom of speech and action cannot bring other people disadvantages. The system will force people to respect each other. That will be achieved by the system of mutual evaluation. I have called it democratic anarchy. Each person will have an equal right to evaluate the activity of any other person. Each positive assessment will automatically bring a small award to the assessed person, and each negative evaluation will result in punishment of the same form. This will direct each member of society to create the highest possible advantages for the community and to diminish or abolish creation of all types of disadvantages.   

Technically watching this looks much like love because love is based on indiscriminately caring for others and in giving. But it is still not love. Once the implementation of this system starts, the people would probably not feel satisfaction in the very act of giving and therefore, that would not be love. In the beginning, the pleasure will come from the egotistic need of getting good evaluations from the people and from avoiding bad assessment. However, it will be beneficial because people will be creating advantages and avoid making disadvantages for all society. The system of evaluation will definitely eliminate privileges. It will teach people that no matter what kind of success they achieve in their lives, they must not forget that they are equal members of society. This will liberate people from narcissism and enable the development of love.  

In the final stage of acceptance of the new system I have proposed, people will accept equality in the production processes. Freedom and equality should be introduced in the production relations. Really equal rights among the people will be realized when people accept a permanent open competition as the right of workers to work in any job post in public companies at any time. The worker who offers the highest productivity at the desired work post at any time will get the right to work. Such measures will now significantly increase the competition among people. Shortly before, I mentioned in this article that competition destroys love. Does this mean that I am against love? No, no way. I am for abolishing the competitions, but they cannot be removed in any other way than by understanding that the competitions are wrong and unnecessary. The idea assumes that the open competition for each work post would demystify the importance of each job, which will reduce competitive interest. Also, increasing the total number of competitions will saturate the competing interest of workers which will enable them to find real values of their nature.  

The work competition will abolish all the privileges of authorities in the production processes and demystify their working abilities. It will be especially important to demystify the ability of authorities in politics and economy, where the largest source of alienated power in society is located. Probably the most significant professional success today is to become a president of a country because such a position gives the privileges that have an almost mystical value in society. To be able to compete for the right to get the job of a country president, the competitors will need to offer the highest possible productivity of the whole country. It could be measured by Gross domestic product, by the satisfaction of people, etc. The best offer will get the job of the president and would work hard to meet the proposal. The new system will develop an entirely new form of responsibility of the workers that will hardly punish the president if he does not fulfill his promises. It will be a harder punishment than is the responsibility of private capital for its entrepreneurship today. 

This way, the labour market will demystify the attraction of the state president positions. All public work posts will be equally demanded, and this will undoubtedly reduce the competing interests of workers. Then people will definitely base their relations more on an agreement and less on the competition. More about the new division of labour you can find in my book Humanism.  

Competition of workers at all work posts will, over time, remove privileges and thus enable demystification of the skills of workers who work in these positions. And there is no other right path. As long as privileges exist, wrong authorities will exist as well as obedient people who follow them. As long as privileges exist there cannot be developed love and a good future of humankind. Removed privileges will remove the main nest of narcissism. This is the only solution to all of the problems of society today and a fundamental condition for the establishment of love. Love is a product of equal rights of people.  

When people accept the system which I've proposed they would all rely on their own power for satisfying their individual needs while respecting other people. That would develop the conscience of productive people. Then under-developed people would no longer exist. Then no one would admire a president, singer or football player more than any other person; not one idol will exist anymore. Then neither powerful nor powerless people would exist, then wrong authorities and their humble followers would not exist, then sadism and masochism will no longer exist. That will overcome the enormous alienation in which we live in today.  

The man who loves does not necessarily have to be happy and satisfied, but it is preferable to be happy and satisfied to be able to love more. The responsibility before the people that the new system proposes will teach people to set their needs following their possibilities of satisfying them. This is the chief prerequisite for overcoming destructiveness in society because people who consistently meet their needs are satisfied and not destructive. Then society will develop a new culture that will create a productive orientation of people.  

 

Developed love  

Productive orientation is unknown in today's society, and therefore, love is rare today. The new system will enable a complete productive orientation of people. The new system will free the people from all forms of alienation that the authorities have imposed throughout history, and people will learn to live following their nature. What does it mean concretely? The lives of people freed from the pressures of authorities will allow a demystification of values that authorities have imposed throughout history. Firstly, ideologies will fall. People will explore and discover natural ways of life. Such an experience will demystify idols and fetishes. Authorities will lose power over people, money and goods will lose their alienated values. Person to person will become the prime value. People will have an increased need to pay attention and show concern for others, to develop friendships and brotherhoods. The new system will enlighten people. Then society will start creating love in its best and most beautiful form. Love is the final result of the system I have proposed. Once people start loving each other, they will create an entirely new world and benefits that are beyond the wildest dreams in the alienated society of today.  

Developed people do not depend on anybody because they could achieve everything they need on their own; they love other people unconditionally just because they are. They find great satisfaction in free productive living, in building themselves as productive people and even greater joy in love.  

***

At the end I would like to help you answer the question do you love? If you dislike this article, then you are most likely narcissistic, and therefore you do not know love enough. If you try to repair your opinion now by finding the parts you do like, it will not help. You cannot gain any benefit from self-cheating. The more narcissistic you are, the worse your life is. If it is essential for you to hide it, you are even more narcissistic and less able to love, and even less able to find the joy of life. Narcissus allegedly drowned in the lake because he did not learn how to swim. If you like this article, please recommend it to your friends. This article suggests a bright future of humanity.

 

22.06.2009

 

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