2005.02.10

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Let’s love each other 

Love is the highest achievement that a man in his life could reach and therefore it gives the greatest satisfaction possible. In a natural society, love is probably a spontaneous phenomenon that self-develops. In the alienated society in which we live in today, we do not know how to love each other. If we try it, the result is often in controversy with the achievements because the alienation has made our love perverted. In order to learn how to love we must return to our nature.

A child loves its parents because it needs them. If as an adult he still depends on authorities, he still loves them but his love is pretty much underdeveloped to say the least. Our culture has accepted a system of privileges that stimulates growth of authorities and restrains the power of subordinated people. The privileged authorities namely take away the freedom and oppress subordinated people. The relation between intrusive authorities and obedient followers always presents some kind of sadomasochism and is therefore very unproductive. It is a perversion of the meaning of love and certainly develops it.

On the other hand the privileges develop authoritarian narcissism.  Narcissism is in fact falling in self-love. It is a very underdeveloped form of love that prevents the development of love and therefore, prevents a man from reaching the biggest possible advantages a man could achieve in the developed form of love. If you desperately need to become a boss or any kind of authority, if your main goal in life is earning money, you may achieve an illusion of happiness, but you are headed in the wrong direction. Narcissistic happiness has a very alienated nature that easily turns the objective reality into conflict and therefore contrary to love, the narcissistic happiness is very unstable and easily disappears. After such happiness certainly comes disappointment which brings even bigger disadvantages of living and very destructive orientation of such a man. Therefore narcissistic people hate much easier than love.

A man can hardly recognise his narcissistic character in himself so that you probably think that narcissistic people are some other people and not you. Almost all people posses narcissistic characteristics due to the reason our alienated everyday culture teaches us to be narcissistic. Generally speaking, we may say that more privileged people are more narcissistic and therefore they love less. However, the differences are often only in shades. That is the reason the world we live in is as it is.

In order to overcome the narcissistic orientation of people we need to accept the nature of society. If a man wants to differ from animals then he must accept that the nature of society has the foundation based on freedom and equality of the people. Therefore, the system I have proposed offers each man full independence, freedom of expression and acting under the condition that such freedom of expression and acting cannot bring other people harm or disadvantages. The system will be forcing people to respect each other. That will be achieved by the system of mutual evaluation. Each man will have an equal right to evaluate the activity of any other person. Each positive assessment will automatically bring a small award to the assessed person and each negative assessment will result in punishment of the same form. This will direct each member of society to create the greatest possible advantages for society, and to diminish or abolish creation of all forms of disadvantages. Technically watching this looks much like love because love is based on indiscriminately caring for others and in giving. But it is still not love. Once the implementation of this system starts, the people would probably not feel satisfaction in the very act of giving and therefore, that would not be love. At the beginning, the satisfaction will come from the egotistic need of getting better evaluations from the people. However, it will be very useful because the people will be creating advantages and avoid making disadvantages for all the society.

Narcissism is the main cause that prevents people from accepting my ideas, from having good and joyful lives. Narcissism is the worst enemy to humankind ever, but most people do not know that it even exists. That is the reason my struggle is very hard. However, I am very persistent in promoting the new system and one day it will be accepted. Then the people will be relieved from narcissism which is the condition sine qua non for learning what love is. 

Developed love requires a completely productive orientation of a man that is pretty much unknown in our society. That is the reason love is rare today. The new system will enable such orientation. It will free people from all types of alienation the authorities have been imposing to society through history of mankind and will teach people to live in accordance with their own nature. The responsibility before the people, that the new system proposes, will teach people to set their needs in accordance with the possibilities of satisfying them. This is the chief prerequisite for overcoming destructiveness in society, because people who permanently satisfy their needs are not destructive. Then society will be developing a new culture that will create productive orientation of people. Society will start creating love in its best and most beautiful shape. Even the worst people may find some love in themselves when they are satisfied with their lives. As time passes, they will love too. Love is the final result of the system I have proposed. Once people start loving each other they will make a completely new world, benefits that are beyond the wildest dreams in today’s alienated society. You can find more about that in my book “The Humanism.

A developed man does not depend of anybody because everything he needs he could achieve alone; he loves other people unconditionally just because they are. He finds great satisfaction in free productive acting, in building himself as a productive man and even greater satisfaction in love.

 

Unknown medical doctor wrote: Let's dance in the rain!

How to Dance in the Rain:

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. 'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain.'

 

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